When an intensely awkward moment strikes, making you wish the ground would swallow you whole to escape the cringe, the most effective response is actually to draw more attention to it. Indeed.

This involves uttering phrases such as: “Well, that was awkward!” or “That was certainly honest!” According to Houston-based psychologist Jenny Shields, this not only acknowledges the ill-timed or uncomfortable remark, framing it as genuine, but also signals your intention to shift the conversation’s direction. This method proves effective across numerous situations: from an accidental flatulence in a formal setting, to an unprompted “I love you” that catches the recipient off guard, or enthusiastically waving at someone actually addressing another person, to unintentionally revealing an inappropriate image while sharing a cat photo on your phone, and any other social blunder you can imagine.

“We tend to believe that overlooking it will make it disappear,” she further notes. “However, ignoring it is akin to holding your breath. With just a few words, you can alleviate that tension, allowing everyone else nearby to also relax.”

A Widespread Experience

The full-body tremors of embarrassment sparked by awkwardness affect everyone, even the highly accomplished individuals Shields counsels. “They are capable of managing board meetings and critical decisions, yet place them in an uncomfortable silence, and they become uneasy, wishing to vanish,” she states. “Its prevalence is truly universal—it impacts us all.”

The intense discomfort of awkward encounters has a biological basis. Shields explains that a fundamental human desire is to belong; thus, when your words aren’t received as intended, your brain perceives a threat. “Your physiological response doesn’t distinguish between being pursued by a lion and uttering something highly embarrassing during dinner,” she clarifies. “For your body, it registers as a danger, prompting your heart to pound and a desire to escape.” This explains why your physical reactions mirror those in other perilous situations—whether you caused the awkwardness, or your vicarious embarrassment is so profound it feels as if you did.

The solution to de-escalating tension lies in vocalizing and recognizing the recent event, thereby eliminating the unspoken issue. “Awkwardness thrives in unspoken moments,” Shields notes. “While the instinct is to retreat or wish to disappear, the instant you identify it—infused with a touch of humor and understanding—you neutralize its power.”

Embrace Your Inner Comedian

Humor serves as an excellent remedy for awkwardness. During the most cringeworthy instances, the perceived stakes often escalate, and this emotional intensity can lead one to overestimate the significance of the event. “Humor assists in reducing and rationalizing the actual impact of such a brief moment in an individual’s existence,” explains Los Angeles-based psychologist Seth Meyers (distinct from the comedian).

To foster comfort among all present, begin by laughing, he suggests, then, with impeccable comedic timing, announce: “And… scene!” Alternatively, you might opt for a cheerful “Is anyone else utterly mortified?!” or state, “I think some deep breaths are warranted.”

Should discomfort persist, even following a hearty laugh, Meyers recommends engaging in positive self-affirmation. You could, for instance, tell yourself: “This will also pass,” “I’m not the sole person to experience this,” or “It would be unnatural not to have an occasional awkward moment.”

Provide an Escape for Others (or Yourself)

Even as a mere uncomfortable observer in an awkward scenario, you possess the ability to offer the central individual “a lifeline,” Shields asserts.

One of her preferred methods: Should a colleague mistakenly include the entire office in a private email, emerge from your workspace, smile, and declare, “Thanks for sparing us the small talk!” This recontextualizes the situation, transforming discomfort into a helpful gesture, which diminishes the feeling of exposure for the person responsible for the awkward comment. Other options include: “We’ve all experienced that,” which frames it as a collective experience, or “Let’s just move past that.” A jovial “Well! Moving on!” can also subtly steer the conversation in a lighter direction—undoubtedly earning the profound appreciation of the person you’re assisting.

Also, alter your perception of awkward situations, viewing them as chances to fortify relationships. “While awkward moments are indeed uncomfortable, they are also concealed opportunities,” Shields states. “By addressing an awkward instance with empathy or humor, you can transform potential shame into a sense of connection. It serves as a pathway or a chance for human bonding.”

Curious about appropriate responses in challenging social scenarios? Reach out to timetotalk@time.com