Decades on and after thousands of emails, Naomi Baron can still identify the exact moment she first encountered what has since become the cockroach of email openings—tough, everywhere, and oddly lacking in character: “I hope this email finds you well.”

A wave of discomfort washed over her. “What right does a stranger have to ask about my well-being?” says Baron, a professor emerita of linguistics at American University. Was the sender assuming she might be hurt, hungover, or otherwise unwell? “This person has no justification to create a relationship where inquiring about my health would be appropriate,” she remembers thinking.

Baron’s reaction would have been much the same if a friend had sent the message. In that case, “I’d think, ‘Wait—did I mention being sick?’” she says. “I take language at face value. If you’re going to ask about my health, there should be a reason for it.”

Yet this phrase wasn’t always a mindless habit. We spoke to experts about how it transformed from a heartfelt show of concern into an annoying inbox staple.

Before email made it weird

Well before it turned into the plain, unnoticeable background of modern communication, “I hope this finds you well” was a common part of letter-writing norms. Take one Civil War soldier, who wrote: “My dear Mammy: I hope this finds you well, as it leaves me well.”

“It began as a polite, sincere way to express care for the recipient’s health in traditional, slow postal mail,” Baron says. Back then, letters took ages to arrive. That meant real uncertainty about the recipient’s condition. “It could take weeks. It could take months,” she says, “and the recipient might no longer be alive or well.”

As communication shifted to email, the phrase—for some reason—stuck. Now, though, it rarely reflects a genuine check on someone’s status. It holds no real purpose. “We’ve got this rigid phrase carried over from letters and glued onto emails,” Baron says. Especially as many emails have become more casual, she adds, “It stands out awkwardly.”

Why people find it so irritating

“I hope this finds you well” is now so overused, it’s lost all meaning. “It gives the impression that little thought went into it, and it can seem like generic text,” says Nick Leighton, co-host of the etiquette podcast Were You Raised By Wolves? Many see it as insincere politeness. Does the person reminding you of a deadline truly care how you’re doing? Maybe. But likely not.

Part of the issue is sheer quantity. Many now drown in text-based messages, with emails piling up alongside work chats, DMs, and more. “How many emails do you get, plus texts—from whom and for what?” asks Michael Plugh, an associate professor of communication at Manhattan University. Each message gets buried under a flood of notifications before it’s even opened. “So did the email find me well? Probably,” he says, “but let’s get to the point—I’ve got 10 more waiting.” There’s no time for niceties that don’t serve a purpose. “In the digital age, everyone’s in a hurry like a New Yorker,” Plugh says, eager to get to the request.

Plus, today, some link the phrase to auto-complete. Start typing “I hope” in a blank email, and the suggestion often pops up before you’ve thought of it. “That means people use it more than they might otherwise, and others see it more often,” says Susan C. Herring, an adjunct professor of linguistics at Indiana University Bloomington and director of the Center for Computer-Mediated Communication. “With AI generating content, we worry these set phrases could be from bots—and people don’t like that.”

So how should you start emails?

At the height of the COVID pandemic, Herring began all her messages like this: “I hope you’re holding up during these tough times.” It felt genuine and fitting, as it wasn’t just polite. “It was sincere because we shared a situation where real concerns about well-being existed,” she says. Tweaking “I hope this finds you well” to be more personal can make the otherwise routine opener land better. When emailing a fellow professor, for example, she might say: “I hope your semester’s going smoothly.”

Shortening it to “I hope you’re well” can make the message more agreeable. “That doesn’t bother me as much—it’s a minor irritation, not a sharp pain,” Baron says. Still, she doesn’t think forced niceties are needed, especially with strangers. “My view is to start with your point,” she says. If emailing a colleague at another university, for instance, she’d introduce herself, mention her work, then say: “I’d greatly appreciate it if you could,” followed by her request.

“That’s my stance, and not everyone’s,” Baron says. “But I suspect it’s what people fed up with reading a line that now has no real meaning would say.”

Cutting the fluff is a good move, Plugh agrees. There’s no need for a soft lead-in anymore. “Skipping niceties doesn’t hurt feelings now,” he says. “People want a text message in email form.” Email has become a tool, not a chat, he adds, and efficiency now beats etiquette.

Wondering what to say in a tricky social situation? Email