We instruct communication skills at Stanford University, and we’re also parents, coaches, and consultants in Silicon Valley. For years, we’ve been concerned about the declining writing and speaking abilities of teenagers. Recently, we’ve observed these skills fading at an accelerating pace—month after month.

Communication abilities are crucial for forming healthy relationships, sustaining mental well-being, encouraging civic participation, and building a successful career. Even though today’s teens are the most connected generation in history, they’re also the least prepared to communicate with depth, assurance, and empathy.

The environments where students develop communication skills are breaking down. Social media pushes aside in-person interactions; memes replace conversations. And much of our test-focused education system prioritizes rote memorization and standardized exams over fundamental skills like storytelling—a core cognitive and social function that shapes our identities, bonds our communities, and .

In short, young people are at risk of losing the communication skills that link us together. On the bright side, simple steps could help reverse this decline.

How we got here: lockdowns, likes, LLMs

During the pandemic, face-to-face interactions among American teens dropped sharply. In their place came extensive texting, social media use, and—by late 2022—AI companions. As these tools became the norm, real-world communication declined further.

U.S. teens ; nearly half are . Likes, streaks, and emojis might feel like connection, but in-person contact is what builds meaningful closeness and strengthens communication skills.

A survey found that nearly use AI for schoolwork. When a student types a complex question into a chatbot, they get a polished (though not necessarily authentic, accurate, or nuanced) answer in seconds. As a result, many students now expect immediate solutions to life’s questions and challenges—without doing their own research or reflecting.

Research indicates that using chatbots reduces mental effort, decreases brain engagement, and leads to lower activity in brain areas responsible for memory and creativity. This typically translates to unoriginal work, diminished self-awareness, trouble recalling information, and increased dependency on bots.

What happens when students lose mental stamina? We worry that teenagers won’t have the motivation to bond with others. They’ll face greater mental health challenges, disengage from communities, and struggle professionally.

Unless we revive our communication skills, the 2020s “” could stretch into a “solitary century.”

Solutions from the front lines

We live and work in the heart of the tech-obsessed San Francisco Bay Area, where AI use . Local students use AI to write college applications, summarize novels, get nutrition advice, diagnose depression, and more. Some elementary school students start AI lessons in fifth grade.

Perhaps because our region is at the forefront of tech, we’re already hearing from young people worried about their fading communication skills. For the first time, students are asking for help to reclaim their declining writing and speaking abilities.

Here’s what we recommend:

• Value your own ideas: Don’t let AI replace your original thoughts. Allow bots to polish your second or third draft—use them as collaborators.
• Join a community: Connect with others and refine your opinions through shared, screen-free activities. Join drama, debate, or improv clubs.
• Get a job: Manage a coffee shop’s breakfast rush, de-escalate customer conflicts at a retailer, or work with people of different ages, backgrounds, perspectives, and native languages. Customer service roles boost your resume, empathy, and patience (unlike anonymous interactions with like-minded followers online).

For teachers: Instead of limiting AI use (it’s futile), prioritize the intellectual process over conventional academic output. Conduct frequent in-class writing and oral exercises that demand clear thinking and concise communication. Grade students on the quality of their analysis, synthesis, and reasoning—rather than take-home essays or quick calculations.

We also recommend that teachers “cold call” students—the practice of picking students at random to answer a question without them raising their hand. Students often tell us that the worry of coming off poorly in front of classmates motivates them to absorb lessons and form clear opinions far more than just finishing an assigned reading or essay.

And parents should model “intentional presence” if they want their children to develop strong communication skills as adults. Stop multitasking; silence phones during meals. Enhance your nonverbal behavior (making eye contact, using gestures and body language). Explain how you generate ideas, resolve conflicts, negotiate solutions, and assert yourself—showing kids your thought process in real time. Share and discuss articles, podcasts, and books to make dialogue a routine instead of passive consumption.

Social media and AI aren’t going away. In fact, technology can boost young people’s learning and careers—if they don’t lose their writing, speaking, and thinking skills in the process.

Communication shapes how we think, connect, learn, work, and live together. Without it, we risk raising a generation unequipped for the collaboration, leadership, and critical thinking required in civic life.